poetry

So it is febuary

by lostboundries

I know what I said, But first off, welcome to February and Black History month. With a new month comes new opportunities and (hopefully) less challenges. In this month I have started My last semester of school, I did have a winter session class so sadly there was little to no winter break for me but that was ok. I (hopefully) got accepted into my college and am on my way to a bachelors degree in communication. This has definitely been a long road and a long time coming but I am just grateful that I am even hear along for the ride.

I am currently signed up for 5 classes, but the 5th is actually just more busy work than anything so I do not really mind. I was very much scared of two classes, I was scared of my Spch 120 class (I had her last semester and am afraid that because of that she will discount me,) as well as my Psyc 205 (Math is my worst subject) surprisingly my math class is being set up to be one of my best math classes I have ever taken and I am really looking forward to it.

However, even with all the luck I have, I know I will still have many doubt filled nights ahead of me where the questionability of what I am doing will come into play. I know I can do this I am just not ready to ask myself at what cost.

That is all for now, here’s to us talking again before February’s end.

2020 Recap, Good and bad

by lostboundries

Hello everyone, Long time no see tight? Look, I understand that this year has been abysmal at best. But, there can be good through hell fire, not much good (considering how this year went but still).

I’d have to Imagine, nobody went through 2020 and remained the same in every way. This year was rough. But, that may still come to make a better ending then imagined.

In this year alone I have personally: Lost my closest friend, went to the bottom (in terms of depression), Been in isolation for a year now (wow it has been that long?), and gone through the shit show that was my fall semester at school.

But, I have also: Found an unperilled amount of love and joys and passion, Learned to love silence and being alone, Found hope and faith in places I no longer cared to look, and over all just found peace.

I also started Anti-depressants, for what it’s worth (it is still pretty early on) they have proved to be very useful in my life and helped in putting the final block (I think) for my mental health.

Ao yes, this year was pretty shit, but there is never light without darkness and vice versa. I hope you will tell me about your life as well, I will see you soon.

It’s been some time

by lostboundries

SO I know it has been awhile, I’m not expecting anyone to be here or even reply or comment. Just focusing on getting back into the groove of things when it comes to blog post.

So in the time I have been absent and away. I have released a poetry collection called “perfectly Imperfect”, My online presence has only grown, and for the most part, I am far more happy then I have been in awhile.

I deffintely felt myself getting tired when I hit around 1k on twitter, that was a goal I really wanted and was striving for really hard so when I got it. Honestly I found myself a bit exhausted.

Now that I have released my first poetry collection (Already working on the next). I most ceartinly feel a fire inside of me to do more and make more. Above all else, to simply learn more.

“Perfectly Imperfect” Is a collection of poetry relating to how I (And sometimes others) deal with Love,Loss,Growth, and Inspiration

I also want to leave you all with a poem I have recently wrote, let me know if you enjoy!

I’ve found you, the pages of my life stopped to highlight your beauty.

The sun & the moon stopped in their rotation to watch you.

Star born lovers, a kindle betwixt them.

But none shall utter a word, the idle tide grows disturbed between them.

But Every time I’ve closed my eyes to faraway lands.

I have found you again & again. 

Forever & Always 

-J.P

Believing in myself

by lostboundries

I’m mabye being a little too optomistic here, but I think that mabye I could do all of this? I don’t really have a reason too be any more optomistic then I was disheartned yesterday. Regardless I’m going to try, I’m going to continue to try and do my best.

I made a little poem (because of coures i did) to go along with it.

A small pocket knife, is enough to cut down the box of doubts.

J.P

“I think I can do it,
taking what little courage I have and forming a small pocket knife.
That’s about all I can muster, but it is more than enough.
thinking you cannot do it is a surefire way to make sure, it never gets done.
believing in yourself is not always important, doing it is.
Against all odds, maybe even your own, a small pocket knife becomes enough to cut down that box of odds.”

what if it is all for not?

by lostboundries

I ask myself this a lot, in bed alone, at work, basically anywhere doing anything, this question lies in my mind. I really don’t have an answer to it.

I know that what I’m choosing to do is in some eyes stupid, I mean for those that did not know my dream is to live in a van (since the price of day to day coast is low and ya know travel), become a successful self-published author (my views of success are as follows: I can sell enough copies that, with the help of my barista side gig I can continue to live in my van and slowly transfer stores from place to place and maybe someday settle down.). I’d also like to be a traveling barista that has a website talking of each Starbucks I work at and some things in that area.

Do I think this is crazy yes! but I know for a fact this is what I want, right now I’m saving for the Van purchase and build. I’m still at a JC (I am going to finish before I start this hopefully, as I am a second-year now, but no promises.

The crazy part is I have not told my parents any of this, quite frankly I am afraid too. I don’t at all think they would be on my side. I’m currently building up a twitter following and a poetry collection so that I have something to show them. I really do want this, with just about every part of my being. I said almost because I still have my self-doubts, I know I will never be able to shake the fears but overtime hopefully they will go away or mitigate themselves.

I know I’m a bit crazy in thinking this (I don’t think so but you might) but I feel as if you have to be at least a little to get things done.

Bedtime

by lostboundries

When I’m lying in bed,

I’m in the centre

With the thoughts in my head Spread

Like puzzle pieces scattered

My dark thoughts make me nonexistent in the mess

only you really matter

Sitting in my heart

The clock ticks forward

Like a graceful snail

Your image is circles

My hurricane of thoughts

Other people’s words

Cut through me like a Knife

Blades been left too long near the fire

Facing the music is harder

Than playing your own

Prolong the talk with loved ones

Zoning out; escapism In my head.

I sit still, till suffering Turns to Solace.

I blink and it’s morning,

Sweat blankets me in my bed

My family all ask

“Why do you sweat”

But I’m afraid to Face facts.

Ive gotten through another day

With your voices in my head.

I didn’t want to change this peice, no imagery goes with it because there is no image for what was in my mind when I wrote this. I could almost say that what was in my head was nothing-ness, a craving for more to be there. only quelled by the thought of you, whether that’s in past remembrance or in current. I do miss you but I just won’t go back, mabye youll always haunt my dreams as a reminder.

The hatred I have built

by lostboundries

I just don’t know
I think I’ve hated you for a while,
It hid deep behind my fear of not loving you.
Drenched in a pool of anxious sweat,
bags under its eyes for not sleeping.
It wanted to be noticed,
I was afraid to give it that chance.
It is me.

this was and still is a moving on point for me. the time in my life that I can’t return too, this was i guess you could call it, a tome of pure rebirth or at least I tried my best for it too be.

coffee with a little honey

by lostboundries

coffee on an empty stomach makes anxious fumes, drinking such things helps us achieve our monstrous task.
we create honey because we are told, encouraged, and pushed towards it.
but that does not mean bees do not get tired, a little slurp from the beekeeper’s enticing mug goes a long way, starting on the right foot, a productive day.
Inside most cups of coffee are a little something sweet.
bees are no wiser than to eat the fruits of their labor

when I wrote this, I was thinking alot of how we eat alot of our capital that we work for, it often times gets thrown back into these big coorporations without ever having the worker see the benifits.

my poetry blog

by lostboundries

this my poetry blog, where I will post lots of my peices of my poetry and alot here will end up in a book at one point or another.

I currently have a small following of 300 on twitter and about 60 on instagram (twitter: _jordan_pace , instagram: cloudy_morning_talk ) and i will keep this number up to date every 100. thank you for reading so far!

if I were the moon you’d most certainly be my sun. Your shine overshadows my body like stainless metal ring clasped over my wrist as if they were stolen from Saturn. you allow my dreams to soar as high as my imagination will take me. I day dream of you and our days together, our souls linked by the fire of our creation. But as the sun and the moon properly work we will always be chasing each other, truth be told, we are two sides of an ironic coin.

when I wrote this, I was feeling just the purest sense of butterflies. It felt as if this was my moment, but as the poem concludes, I kind of came down and saw what this might become, an Ironic coin.