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Finding piece (Personal Experience) LostBlog #5

by lostboundries

Recently as you know I have been going through the motions and really becoming a better person.
All and all just affirming my beliefs and molding myself in this time of crisis. I as a person have found what grounds me, it feels like i’m a bit closer to maintain being whole.
while it is a battle I will never win, it Is a battle I try to be a participant in.
I guess my goal was never to actually win, just get both sides to work together in some way.
For any person who’s ever been at odds with someone, you know that that is a very hard thing and likely not to happen.
Personally I feel as if I have really found my love for poetry again, actually here is something I recently wrote.

“Why do we praise the same thing

Truth and trust over all,

Believing in one another is “key” but we let our beliefs be judged by different screens

But there all looking at the same out come, so many diffrent opinions I’m starting to wonder is life worth living if you don’t have one?

It’s what they all want

You must have something to share

Diffrent options on the ones who are controlling our life

Let’s all share!

But while we’re out giving our peace and our two cents

They’ve got a buck fifty

Nice shiny quarters put our cents to shame” -J.P

Refining a drive for something I truly love has made all my task far less daunting then originally thought to be.
I’m finding task that I would usually find boring and I would slack off, much more doable and I for one am ready to do them.
Nothing in this world last forever, so I know this feeling is fleeting.
But while I have a hold of it, I will use and nurture it so that next time it may last a little longer.

Feeling better (lost blog #4)

by lostboundries

Disclaimer, this is personal experience

Over the past few months there has been a worldwide pandemic that has left us very stationary and static (thanks Covid-19) state,

Even though that is the case, I have found the Quarantine to be very relaxing and proving to be the perfect scenario for personal growth (at least somewhat).

I find I have improved my self understanding as far as my mental state goes. I think my life has vastly improved, I have an understanding of what I want in life.

I am starting small project’s at scale (for me that means that I have started all of these with the intent to get them to be streams of revenue but that takes time… Lots of time)

Some of those projects are Blogging, Videography,More Poetry, things that have to do with those like editing as well.

The end goal is to have one or more of these be a stream of revenue for me so that I am able to largely do as I please without any (or little) interference.

It is and will continue to be a uphill battle for me inn my life, knowing my life is hard is somehow comforting because I know that I am alive

LostBlog#2 (personal experience)

by lostboundries

The fear of being stationary

I have gone through a lot in regards of feeling “stuck”.

From feeling like I was going nowhere fast at the age of 17 to thinking I hadn’t moved anywhere (metaphorically speaking) since I was 12.

It often isn’t the easiest thing to get “unstuck” either. It can range from taking a few days to a few years, in truth, a rut is something that can often times turn into an abyss that takes (or can take) years to crawl out of.

I have a couple of ideas to make these trials a tad bit less daunting and impossible looking to get past.

1.Look as much to the bright side as possible (even if there isn’t one)

Looking into darkness will only bring a sense of calmness once completely enveloped in it. Looking to the bright side will more (more times than not) be harder, as well as take more time but, it will without a shadow of a doubt be far more rewarding.

You will come from this experience with life lessons and strategies for life if you work in this fashion, especially for the struggles you may encounter further down the road of life.

2.Keeping moving forward, never backwards

This step might be a little self explanatory, but even knowing that, I still never utilized this simple fact for years.

In order to walk forward, you must know of a starting line in general to make any progress walking forward, in any sense you must know of the wall behind you to walk away from it.

I know these strategies may not work for everyone but I hope you may all find something useful in this, if I can help even one person then this will all have been worth it.

#LOSTBLOG 1

by lostboundries

What perspective means when it comes to creating streams of revenue (personal experience)

your perspective is the only thing that you truly have that differs you from the rest of the population. It is what makes you you and nobody else.

When it comes to making any source of money, your personality would be the shinning factor that sets you apart from everyone else. It what makes you worth listening to as opposed to the countless others, only you can give your insight and perspective.

that does not mean however that it is easy at all, I mean creating something out of thin air so to speak never is to begin with.

But that does not however, mean you should not embark in something that interest you but, know that while it may work out well for you if it is just an interest. It can never gain as much traction as a passion, because that is something which your soul is ultimately poured into.

This has been the first #LOSTBLOG

I hope you are all well

the fear of expectation

by lostboundries

the fear of expectation (for me) can be summed up in this poem.

“to some, my biggest challenge is nothing more then stepping over a small mole hill.

But to me, it is akin to crossing a casyim, continents. The only thing between me and the otherside, what fills all the space.

Self hatred” -J.P

now for me what is my biggest challenge right now is just having a talk and telling my parents I would like to take a break. there are plenty of problems in doing so.

1.”Isn’t that a little entitled?”

True, it kinda is, I mean it is not as if i pay for almsot anything, I don’t pay for my car (I do pay for gas and whatnot). I do not pay rent (although….I have been living in this house since i was 10 and now I’m 20), I buy alot of my own food so I can’t really use that one for either side. the last entitled thing would be that I get all my money (or most) refunded back to me by my parents that I spend on school. minus my textbooks that I bought this semsester (half of which i have not used).

2.”What do you plan to do”

sometimes, I draw blanks but, I would want to build a van to travel around in,Be a published poet, and being a traveling Barista. I don’t think it is that much of an offshot but sometimes I do, sometimes I do find myself thinking “what If I can’t do it”. I am worried of that but I will allow myself to be scared and nervous but go onward ever so steadily. If I don’t do it (and i am passionate and interested) I feel I will be mad at myself later down the road.

3.”how would you make money?”

honestly that’s a good question, however, I would make money by Being a barista which is obviously a job, upkeep for a van (unless the car itself has issues) is realtively inexpensive. Just the buy in is rather high (I”d imagine 8-10k) and hopefully being a published poet would slowly start to bring in some revnue.

So there you have it, I think those are the main concerns among others but even still those are what I think to be the most prominent.

Bedtime

by lostboundries

When I’m lying in bed,

I’m in the centre

With the thoughts in my head Spread

Like puzzle pieces scattered

My dark thoughts make me nonexistent in the mess

only you really matter

Sitting in my heart

The clock ticks forward

Like a graceful snail

Your image is circles

My hurricane of thoughts

Other people’s words

Cut through me like a Knife

Blades been left too long near the fire

Facing the music is harder

Than playing your own

Prolong the talk with loved ones

Zoning out; escapism In my head.

I sit still, till suffering Turns to Solace.

I blink and it’s morning,

Sweat blankets me in my bed

My family all ask

“Why do you sweat”

But I’m afraid to Face facts.

Ive gotten through another day

With your voices in my head.

I didn’t want to change this peice, no imagery goes with it because there is no image for what was in my mind when I wrote this. I could almost say that what was in my head was nothing-ness, a craving for more to be there. only quelled by the thought of you, whether that’s in past remembrance or in current. I do miss you but I just won’t go back, mabye youll always haunt my dreams as a reminder.

The hatred I have built

by lostboundries

I just don’t know
I think I’ve hated you for a while,
It hid deep behind my fear of not loving you.
Drenched in a pool of anxious sweat,
bags under its eyes for not sleeping.
It wanted to be noticed,
I was afraid to give it that chance.
It is me.

this was and still is a moving on point for me. the time in my life that I can’t return too, this was i guess you could call it, a tome of pure rebirth or at least I tried my best for it too be.

coffee with a little honey

by lostboundries

coffee on an empty stomach makes anxious fumes, drinking such things helps us achieve our monstrous task.
we create honey because we are told, encouraged, and pushed towards it.
but that does not mean bees do not get tired, a little slurp from the beekeeper’s enticing mug goes a long way, starting on the right foot, a productive day.
Inside most cups of coffee are a little something sweet.
bees are no wiser than to eat the fruits of their labor

when I wrote this, I was thinking alot of how we eat alot of our capital that we work for, it often times gets thrown back into these big coorporations without ever having the worker see the benifits.