poet

So it is febuary

by lostboundries

I know what I said, But first off, welcome to February and Black History month. With a new month comes new opportunities and (hopefully) less challenges. In this month I have started My last semester of school, I did have a winter session class so sadly there was little to no winter break for me but that was ok. I (hopefully) got accepted into my college and am on my way to a bachelors degree in communication. This has definitely been a long road and a long time coming but I am just grateful that I am even hear along for the ride.

I am currently signed up for 5 classes, but the 5th is actually just more busy work than anything so I do not really mind. I was very much scared of two classes, I was scared of my Spch 120 class (I had her last semester and am afraid that because of that she will discount me,) as well as my Psyc 205 (Math is my worst subject) surprisingly my math class is being set up to be one of my best math classes I have ever taken and I am really looking forward to it.

However, even with all the luck I have, I know I will still have many doubt filled nights ahead of me where the questionability of what I am doing will come into play. I know I can do this I am just not ready to ask myself at what cost.

That is all for now, here’s to us talking again before February’s end.

LostBlog#2 (personal experience)

by lostboundries

The fear of being stationary

I have gone through a lot in regards of feeling “stuck”.

From feeling like I was going nowhere fast at the age of 17 to thinking I hadn’t moved anywhere (metaphorically speaking) since I was 12.

It often isn’t the easiest thing to get “unstuck” either. It can range from taking a few days to a few years, in truth, a rut is something that can often times turn into an abyss that takes (or can take) years to crawl out of.

I have a couple of ideas to make these trials a tad bit less daunting and impossible looking to get past.

1.Look as much to the bright side as possible (even if there isn’t one)

Looking into darkness will only bring a sense of calmness once completely enveloped in it. Looking to the bright side will more (more times than not) be harder, as well as take more time but, it will without a shadow of a doubt be far more rewarding.

You will come from this experience with life lessons and strategies for life if you work in this fashion, especially for the struggles you may encounter further down the road of life.

2.Keeping moving forward, never backwards

This step might be a little self explanatory, but even knowing that, I still never utilized this simple fact for years.

In order to walk forward, you must know of a starting line in general to make any progress walking forward, in any sense you must know of the wall behind you to walk away from it.

I know these strategies may not work for everyone but I hope you may all find something useful in this, if I can help even one person then this will all have been worth it.

the fear of expectation

by lostboundries

the fear of expectation (for me) can be summed up in this poem.

“to some, my biggest challenge is nothing more then stepping over a small mole hill.

But to me, it is akin to crossing a casyim, continents. The only thing between me and the otherside, what fills all the space.

Self hatred” -J.P

now for me what is my biggest challenge right now is just having a talk and telling my parents I would like to take a break. there are plenty of problems in doing so.

1.”Isn’t that a little entitled?”

True, it kinda is, I mean it is not as if i pay for almsot anything, I don’t pay for my car (I do pay for gas and whatnot). I do not pay rent (although….I have been living in this house since i was 10 and now I’m 20), I buy alot of my own food so I can’t really use that one for either side. the last entitled thing would be that I get all my money (or most) refunded back to me by my parents that I spend on school. minus my textbooks that I bought this semsester (half of which i have not used).

2.”What do you plan to do”

sometimes, I draw blanks but, I would want to build a van to travel around in,Be a published poet, and being a traveling Barista. I don’t think it is that much of an offshot but sometimes I do, sometimes I do find myself thinking “what If I can’t do it”. I am worried of that but I will allow myself to be scared and nervous but go onward ever so steadily. If I don’t do it (and i am passionate and interested) I feel I will be mad at myself later down the road.

3.”how would you make money?”

honestly that’s a good question, however, I would make money by Being a barista which is obviously a job, upkeep for a van (unless the car itself has issues) is realtively inexpensive. Just the buy in is rather high (I”d imagine 8-10k) and hopefully being a published poet would slowly start to bring in some revnue.

So there you have it, I think those are the main concerns among others but even still those are what I think to be the most prominent.

coffee with a little honey

by lostboundries

coffee on an empty stomach makes anxious fumes, drinking such things helps us achieve our monstrous task.
we create honey because we are told, encouraged, and pushed towards it.
but that does not mean bees do not get tired, a little slurp from the beekeeper’s enticing mug goes a long way, starting on the right foot, a productive day.
Inside most cups of coffee are a little something sweet.
bees are no wiser than to eat the fruits of their labor

when I wrote this, I was thinking alot of how we eat alot of our capital that we work for, it often times gets thrown back into these big coorporations without ever having the worker see the benifits.