Yep, today is 2/24/21 and I just ended a 3 year relationship with (prob) my best friend since I started college (3 years ago).

I know it does not make a lot of sense but let me explain, me and this girl (yes, a girl) were in a fling at the very start of the friendship (4 months in, i believe) and it clearly did not workout. But, as I was supposed to be becoming friends with this person since the fling didn’t workout. I think my Self-esteem started to fall around that time as well which led me to become quite sad and lonely. So lonely in fact that it basically consumed me for the better part of 3 years. Loneliness is a really dangerous thing, especially when you think that is the farthest thing from the truth.

As the years went on, we would fight and drift back together. But, over that time my love for her grew but it was a only a relationship in which she told me to jump and I asked “How High”. So over the years, I really only ended up finding myself to blame.

This most recent event that finally sent me over the edge and allowed me to see how little she valued me (don’t be mistaken, I am at fault here but not for ending the friendship) took place really over a couple of days. I tried to schedule some time to hangout with her and wasted my time for countless time by being late and being unaccountable for her as well as my time.

At about 4 pm today I called her and got a little heated that it was 4 pm and she still had not even left the house. We end up not hanging out and arguing for the rest of the day because we both did not want to say that we had disrespected each other (she says I blew up on her and disrespected her with my words and how I talked to her.). I did in fact not be the nicest person but I was in no way calling her out of her name.

I feel I deserve better, I feel I deserve people who value my time and thus value my person, I think I am valuable and time is one of those things I can’t get back so I do not want to waste it on someone who can’t even understand how much it bothers and hurts me to be repeatedly fucked over like that.