the fear of expectation (for me) can be summed up in this poem.

“to some, my biggest challenge is nothing more then stepping over a small mole hill.

But to me, it is akin to crossing a casyim, continents. The only thing between me and the otherside, what fills all the space.

Self hatred” -J.P

now for me what is my biggest challenge right now is just having a talk and telling my parents I would like to take a break. there are plenty of problems in doing so.

1.”Isn’t that a little entitled?”

True, it kinda is, I mean it is not as if i pay for almsot anything, I don’t pay for my car (I do pay for gas and whatnot). I do not pay rent (although….I have been living in this house since i was 10 and now I’m 20), I buy alot of my own food so I can’t really use that one for either side. the last entitled thing would be that I get all my money (or most) refunded back to me by my parents that I spend on school. minus my textbooks that I bought this semsester (half of which i have not used).

2.”What do you plan to do”

sometimes, I draw blanks but, I would want to build a van to travel around in,Be a published poet, and being a traveling Barista. I don’t think it is that much of an offshot but sometimes I do, sometimes I do find myself thinking “what If I can’t do it”. I am worried of that but I will allow myself to be scared and nervous but go onward ever so steadily. If I don’t do it (and i am passionate and interested) I feel I will be mad at myself later down the road.

3.”how would you make money?”

honestly that’s a good question, however, I would make money by Being a barista which is obviously a job, upkeep for a van (unless the car itself has issues) is realtively inexpensive. Just the buy in is rather high (I”d imagine 8-10k) and hopefully being a published poet would slowly start to bring in some revnue.

So there you have it, I think those are the main concerns among others but even still those are what I think to be the most prominent.