I am so starved for a relationship, for someone to want me and to be with me and to understand me that I might be choosing people or relationships that are bad just because it is a potential option. that’s pretty shitty, especially when you realize it. Now for the most part I pride myself on being a rather alone person, don’t get me wrong through, it hurts like hell to be alone. but for me there is now peace in the art. it is not just me feeling like I am going insane anymore, I actually feel like I can get something out of my day to day life without wishing for the company of someone. I go to the gym quite a bit, I also work a retail job so that is a-lot of my time as well. it honestly is not completely bad. I do find myself wanting to connect with friends and for the most part I try my best too. But, my friends are mostly buy. living on your own is expensive, and it often has them doing a-lot of work to make money and honestly if it is not that they might be hanging out with their partner. I wish they could hang out with me but its their choice. for my own mental health lets not talk about the probability that i might just not be a priority. A Lot of things hurt and bother me, but it is what it is. I will just have to find out some way to make things better on my own.

I know this post may not have made a ton of sense but these are honestly my thoughts at the moment.